About

Hilary-Neiman-600

“Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity.  Don’t fight them.  Just find a new way to stand.”

– Oprah Winfrey

 

At one time or another, challenges are placed in everyone’s path. And while we can’t always control these challenges, or the people who put them there, we can control how we react. And this is perfectly sufficient.

When we fall down, we must find the strength in ourselves to be strong and stand tall once more. After all, those who learn most in life aren’t those who never fail; but those who fail and grow from the experience.

SecondYu is a community of like-minded people who are ready to help themselves and one another. All of us here are prepared to turn the challenges we face on their heads and transform them into success. Whether you’re undergoing a mega or mini life event, no matter – everyone is welcome.

HILARY’S JOURNEY

Kids are asked what they want to be when they grow up. An astronaut… A professional video gamer… A deep-sea diver…

Me? A lawyer. I always wanted to be a lawyer.

I studied hard, worked like hell, passed the bar, and then finally… I was one.

I built a thriving practice and worked a “24/7” schedule fueled by espresso quads and energy drinks.

I had everything. And nothing.

I neglected my health and relationships to the luxuries and ego-rush that accompanied my success. Although I was never motivated by money itself; the lines between money, status, and success melded together until they were only blurred, tear-stained smears across my daily life.

The laws surrounding some of my practices with clients were equally blurry, so I was able to justify them to myself. My childhood dream to be a lawyer and act as a passionate advocate for others had transformed into something different. I cut corners with clients and eventually: lost my license, my law practice, my reputation, my friends, and my humanity.

rock bottom

To say that I was upset, heartbroken, and depressed is an understatement. After nose-diving rock bottom, I felt as though I not only lost everything important to me, I also lost my identity – my very sense of Self.

So, what did I do? Did I immediately bounce back with a positive attitude?

Far from it. Lost and hopeless, with no life direction; I refused to leave my bed, believing I was destined to stay there.

But I was lucky. I had a “light-bulb” moment.

Everyone has such a moment in times of crisis, the question is: do you recognize it or not?

For me, this moment came into focus on Martin Luther King Day in 2012. I realized all of the self-inflicted discomforts I was experiencing were infinitesimal when I reflected on Dr. King. He was a man who faced intense discrimination, and yet found energy and compassion to stand up for others who had no voice. His strength to turn obstacles around and use them as a platform to promote peace was inspiring.

That MLK Day, I made the commitment to better myself mentally, physically, and spiritually for as long as I would be gifted the opportunity. It was the day I would begin to welcome the chance to take accountability for past and future actions.

It was a good day to be “free at last.”

zen girl

MY PILGRIMAGE AND PERSONAL REBIRTH

I took myself on a little trip.  Nope, not to the Greek Islands (although that does sound lovely).  This one was a mental journey and my travel companions were books and some great mentors.  I studied, listened, learned, practiced, and experimented.  I changed my thoughts, habits, and re-examined pretty much everything in my life. I learned a lot- not just about values and purpose but also on overcoming adversity.

I learned from my past mistakes and chose to honor these lessons. I also forgave myself, and let go of the life that I had been living.  As I gained knowledge and insights about overcoming challenges, I rebuilt my new life. This life resembled nothing like the one I had been living before.  But this metamorphosis has provided more fulfillment and clarity than I ever thought possible.

BIRTH OF SECONDYU

I learned to lean into my problems, not turn away from them. My fall from success wasn’t a dead end. After I got out of bed, I realized there wasn’t a sign in front of me that said, “U-Turn, NO Access!” My downfall was simply an opportunity to test my character, and in doing so, forge a new path for myself. This became the solution towards a better life.

Through working through my challenges, my new life’s purpose was revealed: to assist others going through adversity. I’ve amassed a great deal of experiences, both good and bad, and I’m focused on promoting permanent changes that you can sustain for the rest of your life.

Major seismic revolutions aren’t necessary. Through this blog, I will share techniques and small actions you can take. When compounded over time, these actions are transformative.

As an individual who worked through upsetting challenges, I believe in mentorship and learning from others. That’s why we will be hearing from my own mentors, some great coaches, and other influential people of magnitude.

And, since we are all masters and experts at something, I encourage you, Dear Blog Reader, to contact me if you want to share your own knowledge and expertise with others (although, if your expertise happens to be on a subject other than overcoming challenges- say Archery in the outback or competitive eating, this might not be the right place for your expertise to shine).

It’s time to wake up. Things will get better, so pull yourself out of bed – whether you’re ready or not. It’s beautiful outside. There is a life of enjoyment waiting for you. So let me end with a hearty, “Good Morning!” and welcome you to this positive community.